i failed........

cant believe i lost it. like seriously. feel soo bad. idk how im gonna let this go. i MUST find it. :[



thanks crystal <3

pretty good and bad day. ppl mad at ppl. but overall i guess, it was good. nice night. jadeylnn's so shy :]

real talk

so ive been having doubts. how can this be? so good, so fast? ive been questioning it and its been messing with me, getting me lost. but this whole time ive been forgetting one important thing. TRUST. God has a plan. and i have to remember to trust in that plan. "Trust in the Lord and do good." -Psalm 37:3 i mean things dont happen for no reason. God knows what hes doing even if we dont. i was placed with this in my life for a reason. i shouldnt have doubts. i should be living it out and trust that what ever happens happens for a good reason and God is in control of the good. He would nvr harm us. idk i guess its hard when we as humans tend to want to know the outcomes and want that certainty. we dont want those "risk and struggles" but life isnt about knowing your future, its about living for it and having that faith and trust. i just need to realize and remember this

glad i had this talk. thanks jim.

Bowling

so after our game at el camino, (or like she saids el co :]) , we went bowling. went to classic bowl, nvr bowled there but we freakin waited TWO hours cus we wanted three lanes but ended up only getting only 2........anyways i didnt feel like bowling anymore at that point but they made me. got home at 330 am. SOO tired.

such a dumb decision to go bowling. should have nvr went. would have rather went home like a gwai jai and talk to dup beat. :] sorry for making you wait and ended up being soo late. ill make it up to you, promise.

Taking It Slow

even tho it was a good day, still had some thoughts.

"Take it slow." ppl tell me so. i know so. even tho sometimes its hard, i can say i have it under control. pressures, desires, temptations, things like that. but i guess the real problem isn't taking it slow, it's know what i want. know what she wants. just knowing how to go where i need to go. i dont care how it goes, i just want to know where it goes i guess. idk. i guess i need to have faith and pray. even if it doesnt go where I want it to go, i need to understand it will go somewhere good. :] amen to that.

feel much better after reflecting this :] im a happy person haha

Bad People

this is what i think:

i dont think people are ever "bad". they dont do bad things cus they want to, but its cus they need to. sometimes the bad way to go is the easier way to go and thats why people tend to do it.

but my point is i think it's unfair that ppl are labeled as "bad" jus cus of something wrong they did in the past. everyone has their "bad" moments or history. i believe that people can change. they might have been like this or that BEFORE. but NOW can be different.

so this is why when someone tells me something about someone, i try to not believe it. because often times, even best friends tend to miss things about one another. and they might think they know someone but no one really KNOWS someone unless that someone tells you that themselves. they might see the outside, but the inside cant be seen, it must be heard. so when ppl talk about other ppl, things get misheard and rumors starts and might make that person sound like something he/she isnt. honestly tho sometimes when someone tells me something bad , it does sometimes mess with my head. but at the end of the day, i tell myself i need to witness it for myself and it helps.

i think the best way to know someone is to just them directly. even if its a personal question, it can be asked. but do it politely and if they dont want to tell u, then respect that b/c not everyone needs to know everything. curiosity is a desire, not a necessity. so i personally like it when ppl just ask me things, rather then hear it from others. im pretty open but if i dont tell, then i dont tell. i know its hard sometimes cus u dont know how comfortable or open someone is and thats just reality. but i give permission to anybody to ask me anything about me cus i rather u ask and me not tell u then to have you trying to go figure it out from other ppl that can get me wrong.

Special :]

Idk. its funny haha

before when i liked someone, it was hard to talk to them. like idk, it felt awkward and yea. but now its all natural and easy. i feel happy talking to her. maybe this was what i was waiting for all my life. someone who im comfortable with. letting her be who she is and me be who i am. maybe who i "liked" before wasnt really liking. idk but i like what i have now and i have a feeling this time its different :] praise God for this. pray that it will go my way.

iminlikewithyou <3

Question

When does being outgoing or friendly be considered "flirting"? Is the difference the intentions behind it?

If it is "flirting", is it bad to "flirt"? Only if you don't have means of leading them on?