Friday, January 30, 2009


after talking to bobo, i came to realize some conclusions.
ok so it starts with a CRUSH, then leads into DEVELOPMENT/RELATIONSHIP, then eventually to LOVE. course in between there are like obstacles and boost and things like that that brings it up and down. But the main question ppl ask is "Why do you like HER?". me personally, and along with some other guys i know can't ever really answer that question. i mean we can answer WHAT we like about her. her looks, personality, style of clothing, maybe even faith. but there are alot of other girls with the same traits, so why specifically HER. i could nvr answer that and i nvr knew why. until now

conclusion: so this is what i came up with. there are probably more factors to this or even more conclusions but this is one conclusion i thought up with. so i believe the answer to this "WHY-question" lies in stage 3, the LOVE part. and most ppl ask this question when they are only on the crush part or relationship part. so they just are deep enough with one another to answer that question. i believe once you reach LOVE, you will be able to answer it.

ME:so ive been trying to figure my situation out and i think i kinda got it. i think i am too hard on myself. like i nvr want to actually "confirm" i like someone because i might end up changing my feelings. when you "like" someone, it is usually a crush. and reality is crushes do eventually fade if you dont act on it or nothing is acted on it. like if there's no communication going. if u dont see them or talk to them. so if say i "like" them, the crush might end up fading and people might not know so they assume you still like them and they usually automatically determine "your crush" as yours even though you might have moved on. this means if you do end up for a new target, the "player" label is put on you.i guess that's what im scared of? that i cant move on because what others assume to be yours. i guesss thats it. i want serious long term, not "high school dating". hahah maybe thats its. well thanks bobo for getting thinking. :]

"Some people say it is better to have loved and lost it, then to never have loved at all. But if it was really love, would you have let yourself lose it?"

Money's Tight

so my dad suddenly approached me with FAFSA info and all this stuff about how i need to get student loans and stuff. apparently he talked to his "accountant" and i need to do this and that and whatever before the slots are taken up. so yea i told him i ALREADY filled out the FAFSA. just waiting for the report. and yea. so im kinda worried about paying for college and stuff. i know my parents cant afford it. and i know i will have to do some loans and stuff but yea. but good thing im not scared. im ready to take on the challenges and i guess i will have to make some social life sacrifices in order to work and pay for tuition of college. o well. im ready. HE has a plan and i believe in its goodness.

i also calculated how much i needed to save up for the things i wanted to do senior year like BOAT DANCE, PROM, SENIOR TRIP. i got roughly $1200. course there is extra thrown in there but yea. so im gonna start saving up. no more wasting money on food and things. gotta find a job too. looking at Blockbuster, its close and not too bad lol.

"It's good to worry, but don't like your worries turn into fear."

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Back To Old Ways

Man, i think i might be going back to my old ways/habits in terms of at home. i made a new goal this year, even though it isn't listed in my aim profile(i guess i will to remind myself) to stop yelling at my parents. i mean i dont really yell AT them, like i respond to them by yelling and its not because im mad or anything. it's just due to lack of sleep i guess. i procrasinate and end up sleeping late to finish hw, then wake up early. getting only like 5-6 hours of sleep which is way not enough. and b/c of it i get irritated and then whenever like my parents try talking to me i get MEAN. not good.

its also killing the relationship with God. b/c of the lack of sleep, i crunch my time to do hw. so basically HW is coming first. i play, then do hw, then sleep and got no in between time to bible study or even think deeply. sometimes i do try praying before bed. but sometimes i get too tired to finish the prayer and end up not wanting to do it. church and fellowship are the only times when im actually more motivated. but even then, the sleep catches up and i sometimes blank out at sunday school. NOT GOOD! boo me haha. i gotta stop procrasinating and get some beauty sleep.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Linking Us

Today at B.A.S.I.C, I gave my very first sermon. it was good i guess or alright. pretty comfortable talking but i really wished that my talk was deeper and it should have reached out to them more but mainly i just defined the verse, not really applying it. o well, its first of many and you can't have good without bad so yea. :] i talked about Matthew 5:3-4, the first two blessings of the Beatitudes.

3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

But the coolest part was that at fellowship, Jim gave his talk and it linked up to mine. it was kind of like a follow-up. i talked about how we sin and we should lament and mourn over our sins, asking forgiveness(Matthew 5:4). Jim talked about basically the same thing. he explained that we do ask for forgiveness and we receive it but often times, even though God forgives us, we dont forgives ourselves. we tend to remember it and blame ourselves everytime. we should learn to understand if God forgives, we should forgive and forget as well. jim also talked about how when we sin sometimes, we feel even worst and guilty about it at church so we tend to hide and maybe reject church, but we should instead be turning to God for this time of grief. and "beg" him for help(Matthew 5:3) for we are poor in spirit.

WOW! realizing that jim really basically covered my verse really shows how God is so amazing with his work. Jim just made his more in depth allowing me to learn and maybe teach it again. He linked us together. this really made my day.

Such a GREAT night.

"God allows grief into our lives as a path, not as a destination."

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Hurray for Obama!! hoping for good things to happen. Change. thats good. i just hope he pulls us out of this mess and brings us up like he said he would. but i totally support him 100 percent. :]

so i saw something pretty cool today after i had lunch with my g-mama in japan town. we were leaving towards chinatown going down Bush street. then i noticed all the street signs had OBAMA on it instead of BUSH. i thought that was hecka cool. i wanted to take a pic of it but we drove by it too fast. later i came back for it but someone had already ripped the sticker off. what a shame. lol

-Took this pic from the Invisible Stripes blog


With it being a new year, i pray that newstart will continue to grow. i feel that right now the activity is slowly wearing out. like right after retreat, everyone was still gung-ho from the retreat. and i really liked how uncle jack did those weekly sharings and things like that during service. and all those new bible studies that everyone is trying to start. it really does remind us of donnabel's "Step It Up" motto. but one thing i really liked is how andrew, last sunday, mentioned how we keep out faith too comfortable. we tend to grow only with what is comfortable but we never take that risk and do something out of our comfort zone. and that is totally understandable. we dont know the outcome and its just hard to do. change is hard. a great example would be like when we see kids raise up their hands during worship. you see people doing it and you say to yourself should i do it? or i want to but i cant really because once people see the difference, they start making comments and i think this is what we need to pray about. we need to pray that we can grow and trust in Him that the outcome will be good. we need to pray and understant that no one will judge, that no one should judge. even small careless comments matter. i think once we are able to break these "boundaries" we will trully be ONE BODY. i just pray that we can continue to grow and not just get all gung-ho after these "spirit boosters" like retreats but rather grow throughout our lives. yea this is extremely hard and its one of the things i need to work on too. i guess i just have to remember, this isn't just for yourself. but it is also for God and your fellow brothers and sisters in christ.

"Push your faith beyound what is comfortable."

Christians vs Non-Christians

One assumption a lot of people is that Christians automatically are super Godly and full of faith. you would expect them to be all out there and shining their light and doing this and that. but that isn't necessarily the case. christians might sometimes be weaker in faith than new christians. the reason is that christians live a "too comfortable" life. they tend to be sheltered from all the bad and don't see the uncomfortable so when something uncomfortable comes along, it is hard for them to adapt. this might be the case of why you dont see some christians "stepping it up". they just arent use to the uncomfort-ness. on the other hand, it is kind of easier to non-christians to become stronger in faith because this is new to them and they want to get to know it more. they probably seen all the struggles and hardship and now is turning to a solution and are all gung-ho for it. and this isn't the case for all non-christians and christians but this is one perspective and it was kind of what josh and i talked about. but yea, i am kind of tired so im not sure i got all of it down.

also another thing is that often times new christians are scared to participate verbally in church discussions like at sunday school is that because they are scared of saying the "wrong" things. i know people tell you "there is no such thing as the wrong thing" but there is still this boundary that separates. i was there once and i know how it feels. i have also witnessed some friends and people that because of this, they arent as active in discussions. but i talked about this with a friend. he made the point that it is kind of harder for christians to speak out because basically they are expected to know it and they have a little more pressure. i dont really know which side to take but these are just some of my thoughts. i guess when in doubt, Jesus is always the right answer. haha

Late Night Adventures

Like a few months ago, josh marc and i would go drive out to our "late night adventures" after fellowship. usually lasted til like 12 ish but yea. we would mainly just talk. we talk about a lot of things, girls, boys, school, newstart, our faith. and these conversations are really helpful. we update each other and it helps us get through. for me at least. problems get solved, plans are created and faith grows. so tonight, it was just me and josh. we talked about christians vs non-christians, B.A.S.I.C christian club, and christianity within newstart. we noticed alot and we talked about it. and i reallly enjoy these long conversations. really do. i think one of the best things to do is just go out with someone in a car and just park and talk. it really helps you and really is relieving. i think from now on im going to make that an offer when ever i drive or whenever. ill offer to just go with someone to talk. quite the reliever. i thank God for friends like josh that take the time to just talk with. thanks josh.

Fortune Cookies: i bought a bag of fortune cookies for newstart potluck and i have one at home. i ate the whole bag today so i got a bijillion quotes. heres one of them:

"With clothes the new are best; with friends the old are best."

Monday, January 19, 2009

Cool Chair!!!

I saw this on a blog and this is awesome!!! I need to get me one of them:


So the leaders of some Christian clubs from high schools(wallenberg, washington, lowell, galileo, balboa, lincoln) have been organizing monthly activities to try and unify sf christians. so far so good. our first event is a POTLUCK. sooooo excited. i really love these interschool christian events we are doing. seriously its like bigger than what we are use to and our normal everyday activites like church and club. Heres the Whats Up:

@ Sunset Church (43rd&Lawton)

Saturday, February 21st, 2009
5-9 PM
Bring food!
  • Lincoln: Appetizers/Snacks for 70 people
  • Balboa: Fruits/Veggies for 70 people
  • Wallenberg: Drinks/Utensils/Plates/Cups/Napkins for 70 people
  • Washington: Main Entrees for 40 people
  • Lowell: Main Entrees for 40 people
  • Galileo: Dessert for 70 people
Try to let your leaders at your school know beforehand or ask me about it.
You DONT have to be Christian!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Today in Sunday school we talked about God's control. basically it was the topic of "predestination" that we had at the baayf seminar. about like how God has a will and what ever we do is part of his will. and what about free will and stuff like that. i remember this topic was filled with on going questions and the speaker at baayf answered it with the same answer: "it's his will and part of his hidden will" something like that. it doesn't really make sense but in a deep way it does make sense. it's one of those things that aren't explanable but you just have to get. and its good that its unexplanable because God works in miraculous ways and sometimes we just dont get it for He IS the Almighty God. but i love these kinds of topics. there are always soo many questions and not necessarily enough answers and it keeps people thinking and thinking. the discussion goes on and on and the interest becomes greater and greater. if we had all the time in the world, it would go on forever. i just love how it challenges us to think more. its kinda of learnign and fellowshiipping at the same time. so great :]

My Car

So today i woke up at like 8:30 at the jungs house. auntie annie picked up marc and i and we went to chinatown to buy fortune cookies and bao for the newstart potluck. chinese people are rude in chinatown. old ladies especially haha. but yea so after they dropped me off and silver cut and i took my parents car and drove to practice. first day of practice and first time i drove to practice it was nice. so basically i had the car all day. drove to get arbys, got home, ate, showered and drove to church haha then yea i love having the car to myself. lets me sing without anyone listening LOL haha but no seriosuly. its a sense of freedom and yea. cant wait to get my own car. there was a cop following me when i was driving to practice. i was SOO scared haha. good thing i wasnt speeding lol. or it would have been gg for me :]

Bus Rides

Bus rides are the best place to be calm especially when you live a "loud" life. But only when it is not super crowded and the weather isn't depressing. So today I took the 18 to Sports Night. The sun was setting and the skies were clear. Just perfect. I had my headphones on and i was just sitting in the back by myself. I love it like this because it's all calm and i get to relax and think about things sometimes. It just lets you escape, sorta like a mini "at the moment retreat" from society.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Finals Are Over!

YES! Finals are FINALly over!!! haha. so even though this week was the hardest week with today the hardest final, it ends well. im feeling kind of good and happy. it's just when you have something so difficult, the end result if more satisfying. but yea BASICally i failed like half the finals. hope I get B at the lowest in all my classes. going to go to school 2m to make sure my grades are legit.

basketball, been playing for the last three days. first time in like a month. but wasnt really satisfied with my performance. i hope i get better for CCU. practice for DB is starting this week. now im going to bulk up again haah.

"The more difficult the task, the greater the satisfaction when accomplished."

Monday, January 12, 2009

Night Time Thinkings

So it's 11:18 and i have finals 2m. i was extremely tired when i came home so i barely studied for like an hour and went to bed at 10 sharp. but for the last hour and 18 minutes i wasnt able to sleep. so i decided to blog.

so while laying here, i was thinking of random things. i thought about what would happen if i had cancer haha. not funny but yea. then i thought about my childhood. i remember the first time i shop lifted. it was when i was really young like first grade of something. my mom brought me to Ross and i went to the toy area. saw this really cool kind of toy car. a mini one. so i asked my mom can i have it. i was practically begging her to let me steal it haha but yea i ended up taking it. shame on me i know. o well. so yea. night times, right before you sleep is when your mind runs wild. im a genius at night!!! like i come up with the best things like ideas for BASIC and my room and other things but i always forget them when i wake up. so now i leave a notebook by my bed and a pen. jus in case i come up with the cure for AIDs or something haha. ok good night guys.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Good Day

Today was pretty good. Woke up at like 12 but didnt want to. still was hecka tired but i woke up to do calc. lame. then after that i eat the spaghetti my mom made me. it was soon 3 and i left for sunday school. decided to walk and enjoy the quietness and just think. it was great.

As i was walking noticed two things. there was a house that had boxes of free books. saw the word "God" on it so i decided to check it out. turned out to be someting stupid and not Christian God. then a few blocks later saw this real estate agent. he was leaving the house and was trying to get out through the garage. but each time he shut the door, the door would hit his shoulder and open up again. it was pretty funny haha. but after two times he failed, i was going to walk over there and help him out. but luckily he made it on the third try. thirds the charm.

Church was good. did the usual. curtis talked about alcohol and words like "shoot" and "freakin". whether they are okay or not. he also mentioned about his friend was surprised he was Christian. that made me think about "Shining your light". he made a point that at school we might have a different side. if we shine it well enough, everywhere, people shouldnt be surprised you are Christian. then after when i went to ask jim to borrow a bible, he sat down with me and asked me what he can pray for me for. i was sooo happy he did that. i didnt really have anything so we just sat and talked for a while. its soo great to have ppl like jim at newstart, just come up to you and ask you about how you are, show that they care. that made my day.

"Shine your light not on a pedestal and putting yourself out there, but rather through your faith and actions so people will experience your glory of God."

Saturday, January 10, 2009

United In Christ SF

Yay, second day of blogging. Don't plan to blog everyday but i might.

So today I woke up at like 12:50 ish. Stinkin marc called me at 10 and woke me up haha jk i dont care at all. but yea, then i bused with lorraine down to ally's house to have our meeting with all the other hs christian clubs. talked about our up coming pot luck, rally and scavenger hunt. extremely excited about them! i Really like that we have this UnitedInChristSF meeting with the hs christian clubs. it helps spread faith bigger than our everyday places like school and church. part of donnabel's "Step It Up" challenge.

"If you take short cuts, you get cut short."

Friday, January 9, 2009

First Timer

Thought I might give blogging a try. First time for me I guess.

So the "25 Things" thing has been the new FB hit. My first one was dumb, had a hidden message but only me and one other person know about it and it was a failure haha. So I felt like doing a REAL one so here it goes:

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. God
2. currently learning the guitar
3. big Wong Fu fan
4. can be shy at first but won't be eventually
5. STRONGLY DISLIKE liars, seriously, rather have someone tell me a mean truth than a good lie, I'm just glad that you're honest, wouldn't take it offensively at all
6. i like ......... her :]
7. don't really have a favorite food or flavor, likes things to be different and unique everytime
8. loves things that are NEW and fresh, like clothes, electronics, and other things
9. good with hands-on crafts
10. likes learning, curious about many things, but don't like reading to get the knowledge(unless its interesting enough, usually isn't)
11. wish I could speak Mandarin
12. want to get a motorcycle licence
13. wants a ear piercing, will do eventually :]
14. ask me anything about me and ill probably tell you, just don't tell anyone
15. can't speak from the heart, unless I rethink it before hand
16. kinda scared to dance but not really
17. sleeps with a baby pillow haha
18. will pick up the phone anytime, 24 hours, even when im sleeping i sound wide awake and i don't mind the calls
19. like people that are active spiritually, like does bible study, lead club/fellowship, leader
20. greatest fear is my future and whether or not i will be able to support my parents financially
21. likes contemporary art and architecture, the very modern/futuristic styles
22. want to build my own house
23. a pretty deep guy
24. LOVES the feeling of helping someone and seeing their smile, knowing you made them happy
25. enjoys hugs

marc gave a talk today. good job man. really like the part how he emphasized reading your bible in detail rather than jus scan it. "When you are scanning it, you are basing you devo on your personal knowledge. But by really reading it in depth, you acknowledge that you need God's word instead.". Something of that nature.

"If you don't get what you like, why not like what you get."