"Love in its truest sense is not based on feelings."

Confidence and Laziness

man. i think im at the point where im getting confidence and laziness mixed up. its like i dont do things cus i am "confident" that i am capable of doing fine at the state of where i am now. but thats not the right attitude. like for calc, ive taken BC already so basically everything im learning i already learned. b/c i tell myself this, i tend to not study as hard and i forget the little things and i end up doing bad on the tests. but now i realize that this mentality is really going to hurt me and i HAVE TO change my attitude before its too late.

i have to remember that God blessed me by putting me into college and allowing me to study. its $30000 a year and He has made it possible for me to put up with it. i must glorify Him and take advantage of Davis and not just throw it down the drain. i just pray that i over come the state that i am at now and not fail my first quarter. please pray for me. also pray that after i overcome this, i will remain disciplined to continue to glorify Him through hard work and not just work hard through the toughest of times.

thanks joy for reminding me of this and putting it in perspective. seeing her so disciplined kind of pushes me to be the same.

No Appreciation

i feel kinda bad right now. so my dad called me today and told me he bought some sort of bike light thing for me. but being me, i told him i already had a one and i did. but i should of showed more appreciation for it. this is like one of the attempts that he does to try and do something good for me. and all the other times like the stuff he bought me was totally not what i liked or needed. but this time it was the closest he ever got. but i kinda rejected it. it did sound like he put quite some effort into it. he ended up saying "too late i bought it" so yea. i guess he doesnt take it too offensively and know that i do appreciate the effort even though im not so good at showing it. sigh*

Fable

just a cool fable i liked from Our Daily Bread.

-[There was] a man who was browsing in a store when he made the shocking discovery that God was behind a sales counter. So the man walked over and asked, “What are You selling?” God replied, “What does your heart desire?” The man said, “I want happiness, peace of mind, and freedom from fear . . . for me and the whole world.” God smiled and said, “I don’t sell fruit here. Only seeds.”

Jim sent me a message today. it was great and im very blessed to hear his supporting words. but the thing that stood out most was " develop your personal(your own) relationship with God". that made me think about myself. ive been relying too much on church, fellowship and small groups only, to help me grow. ive been using others to grow myself. when i need to set my own personal relationship straight with Him. im missing the emotion and need to spend more time with Him alone. pray for me. praise God for putting people like Jim in my life.

such a GREAT day today!

class was cancelled so i didnt have class for the whole day. i got a extra ticket for stacy.(thanks alex!) and tonight we all get to go to the KabaModern, David Choi and all the other cool ppl concert!

even tho class was cancelled, i feel like it was all on purpose. ive been needind time to catch up on hw and stuff and i feel that God blessed me with this time for me to do that. thank you God. Praise Him!!!

God works in miraculous ways so always expect the unexpected and know that He will always do you good.

Arguments

people say i argue a lot. and i guess they are right, kinda. i think of it as disagreeing. but sometimes my voice sounds mad and its considered as "arguing". so i dont blame them for saying so.

but my arguing is good and bad. its bad in a sense that its unpleasant to hear and that it can cause a small issue to be bigger b/c the other person gets mad too. but its good in the sense that it "corrects" misinformation.

i personally dont think people just "argue" for fun. they argue b/c they are put in a position where they feel like they should. people sometimes say things that offend others. thats why they talk back so they can defend themselves and no longer have to be the inferior one. this is natural. sometimes even the smallest things that ppl might not expect to be offensive, can be. other times like when misinformation is said, i personally, like to correct it. and i know sometimes it can get irritating but idk. i just feel like misinformation can lead to bad things. and worst of all, false judgements. but i guess sometimes we just have to let things go just to avoid a argument. or maybe change the tone voice so it doesnt get so aggressive.

the worst thing i dont like is that sometimes in a situation, people misinterpret things and the person that did the action, gets accused negatively and dont get the opportunity to explain himself. i feel thats unfair, having to be the victim just
b/c of a misunderstanding. but sometimes letting things go is the better way out.

***
i say the best thing to do is be very careful of how and what u say. i personally am the type of person that is very precise and exact with my word choice. liek if two words have a same meaning but one has a more appropriate connotation, i would use that word. but most ppl dont usually dont think like that so thats how i get into arguments b.c i criticize their word choice. yea i do apologize when situations like these, argument times, i forget and i make things bad. but yeaa. yea above all this, remember God and think of Him. forgiveness, compassion, kindness. stay happy :]

Agape

today in Asian American Psychology we took a "love survey". this is my result. im a Agape.


Agape
- Agape is the most rare of the love styles.
- The Agapic lover is the closest thing the romantic world
has to a saint. Agape focuses on the partner’s welfare and is
selfless and giving.
- The Agapic lover forms a relationship because of what he
or she may be able to do for the partner, instead of what the
partner can provide. Sensual concerns are not relevant to
this idealistic lover, who places a higher value on
spirituality.
- In a rainstorm, the Agape lover would give you his or her
umbrella.

me? :]

Slowing Down

today i walked for the first time to class. it rained yesterday so the ground was still wet and i didnt have a fender on my bike. it gets on your back. but yea walking was nice and not as bad as people say it is. i actually like it more. its nice and calm and lets me see things. nature, people, squirrels. lets me think about things. wish i had a camera, going to save up for one

sometimes i feel like life is in a constant rush. like its very "fast paced". like we do things, but we never really have time to think or reflect on it. never get the opportunity to value it you know. get what im saying. but moments like walking or like just "slowing down" allows for that. i guess reading Praise Habits by david crowder kind of relates to this. this "slowing down" and reflection reminds me that "Every second is an opportunity for praise."- david crowder

The Fun Theory

http://www.rolighetsteorin.se/en/

things like these makes me want me go out and make the world a better place :]

Faith

AACF bible study.

In what ways is our faith similar to gold?

Gold is shiny and bright on the outside. When we place it in the fire, all the impurities burn away and all we're left with is the pure gold itself. Our faith is like gold. We might have gold like faith and look great on the outside. But true faith is tested when God puts us in the fire of trials and in the end, all our impurities will burn away and what is left is our true faith. If we didn't have any "pure gold" or true faith to begin with, then we are left with nothing.

Sometimes when I'm faced with hard times, the trials of life, I tend to complain or lose hope and forget that God is there and that what He is doing is for the good in the bigger picture. But afterward, when I reflect back, I just remember all the past times that He has done me good and help me get through tough times. I just have to remember that I have faith and not lose it whenever something hard comes along. Because forgetting can cause us to make wrong decisions and create more dilemmas.

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. -1 Peter 1:8-9"

1 Corinthians 13:4

must faith in it.

sigh..... got thoughts and stuff that i want _ to know. but cant really say. if only i knew.... then maybe. but its goood right now :] should i hope for better?

"perfect love cast out no fears"

today we went to EPIC fellowship. the worship was kinda soft, but the speaker was BOMB!(thats what ppl use in so cal :])

he talked about love. he said "people show love to the degree of how they experienced it". they love the only way they experienced love themselves. and this made me think about Asian parents or maybe not so much Asian but like my parents. my parents arent christian and they never really this type of God's love from fellow brothers and sisters of christ. they always tell me they do the things they do b.c they love me. and i guess when i was young i nvr really understood this and nvr believed that it was out of love. things like i should sleep early or i have to wear a helmet when riding bikes. i nvr use to understand why they did what they did. i just thought they were mean. to them this was "love", but to me i wanted more of intimacy between us. but now i realize, that its not their fault. this was how they were loved as kids and they are loving the way they know love as.

another point he made was that "trying hard to love someone isnt love at all". the bible tells us to love our enemies. but trying to love them isnt really loving them. we are just putting in effort to meet a "standard" in which we consider as love. but the only real way is to experience love, this perfect love of God's and only then can we really love someone. this way we have experience to give from.

"perfect love cast out no fears"
-we two people love each other, they shouldnt have any fear of telling one another something. they should be very honest and have that confidence in one another.

great night at EPIC.

"Every second is an opportunity for praise." -David Crowder, Praise Habits

today i sat down and prayed with my sister. it was really a blessing because i was never really close to my sister so its hard to talk to her. but through God, i got to witness a change. it didnt feel so hard praying with her tonight and it has gotten alot better since. this is off to a great start. i have faith that God will turn this great. praise Him for that.

"Sometimes we focus so much on our goals, we miss life in between. God's purpose might just be in between." -Pastor Wayne

Grand Torino

Grand Torino(2008) was a good movie. no lie. probably one of my favorites. its about a Korean War vet that lives in a community full of Hmong people. one day he comes across a boy, Thao Vang Lor, his neighbor, trying to steal his prized car, the Grand Torino as a gang intiation. he gets caught and runs away. later he ends up following under Walt Kowalski and he teaches him how to man up and gives him hope for a future. the ending was very good, he sacrifices his life to lock the gang up and give the community some peace. this movie was kind of a mix between christianity and real life but in a indirect way. what i took from it is that often times when we are faced with BAD situations where we become extremely angry, we tend to immediately want REVENGE and think that is the answer. but during these times is when we really need to just calm down and think and take the non-violent approach. this movie really depicts that scenario well. highly recommend it.

you can watch it here:
http://www.icefilms.info/index.php?option=com_iceplayer&video=1573#IP

Finish Last

today CTBC had a musical called Finish Last. it was GREAT!!! seriously, excellent acting/singing/choreograpy. and the story line was great too. sooo enjoyable. the musical talked about four main people. a Berkeley girl, a Shoe Beast, a YouTube Vlogger, and a New Christian girl. the berkeley girl, she had her who life set on berkeley, but then finds out frm a phone call her dad lost his job and they couldnt afford the school. the shoe beast, he had his eye on these pairs of shoes, KaBooms, and even used his friend, making her go through a crazy line, just to get his shoes for him. the youtube girl, she orginally had her purposed all mixed up. got too into the "fame" and being famous with her vlogs. but then she realized that she wanted to do this for God. the christian girl, she thought that going on a missions trip was "for God" but she realized that God wanted her at home to help her hardworking mother watch her brothers.

we live in a society where being FIRST is made to be seen as the most important. we do all we can to try and be at the TOP. whether its fame, popularity, education. but God tells us differently. He teaches us to "finish last" and humble ourselves and trust in God for in His eyes, we are all First if we focus more on Him and less on how we are seen in our society. fame, popularity, wealth; with these things we feel sooo UP THERE that we tend to think it last forever. but it is all temporary and can disappear anytime. God is eternal and forever and He tells forget this "temporary satisfaction" and look at the BIGGER PICTURE and the good that He will provide for us on our eternal life with Him.

this made me think about me life and my situation. school and my family. my future and how my career will come out. i think about this often. whether I will get a good job, a well paying job that will support my family and allow my parents to enjoy the rest of their lives stress-free. but what if a well-paying job isnt in God's plan for me. even if it isnt, its okay. i know i have God in my life and i know that if i trust in Him, He will provide for me the BIG PICTURE that will be great for both me and my family. not saying this will be easy, b/c honestly, the temporary stress that is involved is sometimes hard to bare. but slowly im becoming more immune to the worries and my Trust is greater. knowing that He is there and will always be there for me gives me peace. praise God.

http://www.youtube.com/redvinecola

"Life is good, but eternal life is better."

G-Ma

wow. my grandma did something today, gave me something that made me realize how much she loves me. ever since i was a kid she was always taking care of me. then when i got older she moved to chinatown. she always tried to impress me by buying me things here and there. but i nvr really appreciated them. but after tonight, i understand how much she really loves me. she gives the very little she has, the very last bit of it, to me. thanks grandma. <3 i will always remember what she did for me. thank God for her.

BAAYF 2009: Redemption

from Aug 2-7, i went to BAAYF(Bay Area Asian Youth Fellowship). the theme was REDEMPTION

it was a GREAT experience.

(Food) - 3 meals a day, last year the food was better but it was still good. didnt get to eat my apple at every meal like i did last year o well. but i DID get milk every meal lol. doctor saids i need it any ways to get taller haha

(Activities) - some of the activities we had was same as last year kayaking, Flying Squirrel, Leap of Faith, mountain biking. this year they opened up Archery and no paintball.
- Water Games - it was on the vb pit. a big tarp was put over the sand. the first game was we all were blind folded. then we had to try to get the floaties into a big basket thing. the little floaties was worth points, the big ones are minus points. then we had a tug o war with soapy water sprayed around. it was pretty fun. i lost my white tee in the mess lol o well
- Palooza - like last year, we had boat races again. our cabin combined with another cabin and we had a super big boat. we fit like 10 ppl on it. crazy! but it was hecka good, we had fastest time. we told them to jerk on it too. it was hecka funny. we dogged everyone haha. but there were "illegal" floaties hidden inside the boat that no one knew about. cept cyrus lol. its all good
- Counselor vs Camper Games - there was Dodgeball, Basketball, Volleyball. we mostly got owned. i played in the bball game against the basketball camp. we lost and i didnt do so good. scored two points, got like three turn overs, got swatted like three times. o well lol. i had FUN. thats most important.

("Why You Prank Me?") - this was another version of "why so serious" like last year. same game same rules. the goal was to "kill" the person you had. everyone was given a card with the name of someone. to kill someone, they had to be alone and u had to hit them with a clean sock. then u had to get three facts about them and write it on the card and then bring it to josh. there were "immunity days". if you did the task for that day, u were immune so u cant die. there was also a reset day. if you were still alive on the reset day, u traded in your card for a new one. i got Christie Chong the first time and Noe Lee the second. didnt find Christie but i found Noe, she came up to me one day and asked me if i knew her person. lucky me. but i didnt kill her. just wanted to meet a friend :]. i always think its weird when i get a middle school girl. me being in high school, makes it seem creepy to approach a middle school girl lol. idk whatever

(Prayer Meeting) - theres prayer meeting every morning. i only went to one on Monday. the rest of the week i was too tired to wake up. basically at prayer meetings, there was music and then we all prayed. the day i went, Auntie Jennie, my future roommates mom, prayed for me for about 15 mins. i thought this was trully amazing b/c. heres someone i barely knew, that i just met, and she comes up to offer to pray for me. for 15 mins too! that really touched me and it really shows that we all have fellow Brothers and Sisters out there to support us.

(Speakers) - we had two speakers
- Pastor Scott Shimada - this guy was pretty sick. HECKA funny haha. he was soo good at talking and nvr got bored of him. he played simon says and he was making it hecka cool cus he would say something liek " alright u guys can have a seat now" but he was still playing so almost everyone fell for it. super G man. he talks like a G kinda. hecka cool haha he showed us a pic of his left side, when he had surgery. it was all cut up and stuff haha REALLY gory but cool for me hhaah
- Pastor Terrence Nichols - this guy was also very energetic. he made his stories very vivid. like u can picture it like a movie in your head. he told us about his testimony and how he grew up and how his mom fell in love with the dean of a school who was a pastor at her church or somethign like that. yea

(Seminars) -
- "Evangelism in the 21st Century" - the speaker was Pastor Jarron. he was Caucasian and he told us he goes to an ALL Asian church. he said he likes it there. no racial. his seminar talks about how to convert ppl i guess and like what ways we can get the Gospel out to non-believers. he showed us a list of the percentages of how ppl accept Christ. 2% was like from tv and stuff like that. there was like 2% for other things and like 5% and stuff. but i cant remember what they were. 6% are from pastors. and 78% are from friends, families and relationships. i personally like spreading the word thru this way too. its to love others and have them emotionally learn about God. i dont like it when you have those ppl that just go up to ppl and just like confront them about God and in a way "force" them to believe.
- "Worship & Missions" - the speaker was Craig Takashima. hes a pretty cool guy. funny and out going. um we had a good quote "Missions exist because worship doesn't." we have missions to spread the gospel so ppl can worship God. the end result should be WORSHIP. missions are only temporary. he also said our goal at church is to worship, and when we truly worship, then we learn about Him. he also made a point that when we're at camp, we experience this "high" b/c we are in the Word daily. we can experience the same if we stay committed to studying the Word here in the city.

(Bible Study) - my counselor was Ben Poon. he was really knowleable about the bible so bible study really taught me alot. he explained alot of things about the bible. for example, he told us that "Testament" stands for "Covenant" so it saids in the bible that the New Covenant is the one we should follow. so alot of the laws in the Old Testament arent laws we have to follow unless its reinforced in the New Testament. alot of ppl think that "oh it saids it in the bible so we have to do this and that" but if it isnt said in the new testament, we technically can let it slide. so one of the BS talked about "CA Redemption Value". so CA gives back about 5 cents per bottle to ppl that recycle bottles and cans. to most ppl, these used bottles and cans arent worth anything. but the recycle company gives these bottles value by offering 5 cents per bottle to ppl that recycle them. in the same way, we as humans are worth nothing. but "God redeemed us" and gave VALUE to our lives and purpose. just like in the bible where Boaz gave value to Ruth by wanting to marry her, in the book of Ruth. another thing i learned thru these bible studies was that, its really a good feeling to know about the bible and stuff inside. like seriously. but the problem with me is that i highly DISLIKE reading. and thats why i dont read the bible enough. but i realized that its much more enjoyable doing it with a group and at the same time i can learn about the bible. i think i will try to join a bible study so i can learn.

(Last Night) the last night was really cool and probably most enjoyable. maybe cus it was longer and everyone got to chill with each other more.
- Fireside Sharing - i didnt share, but this year i felt comfortable sharing tho. some ppl, ppl i would nvr expect (maybe cus i judged which is not good, sorry),they shared how BAAYF this year and God really changed their lives for the better, it was truely amazing to see ppl so happy cus of God.
- Dance Off - Craig Tak hosted a dance off frm the different Bays and Sacremento. it was pretty cool haha had some sick dudes. i forgot who won but it was cool. ABDC at baayf lol percy was jerking too. that was funny.
- Night Hike - i nvr been on it before so i decided to check it out. it was a super long hike and i thought it wasnt going to be worth it. lindsey was suppose to go with me but i lost her. where did you go haha. anyways went with marc, lorraine, erika. the whole way lorraine was telling pick up lines. they were really good and funny haha. marc used one on francesca, she called him a creeper haha gg. when we finally got to the top. it was pretty amazing, the stars werent super bright but the silence and just checking it out was pretty satisfying. im gonna do that in the future more often. the counselors were playing catch with a glow stick. it kinda looked like a shooting star. pretty sick lol
- Open Mic - only came for a little bit b/c i was on night hike. didnt really hear much. but while i was outside listening, we found this HUGE spider. it was like a daddy long like but like its legs were like 3 inches long! crazy! haha
- "Tupperware Party" - didnt really participate but did learn some stuff from preston. what is it? no comment :]

(Personal Note) - for the past 2-3 months, i felt that i didnt have the emotional connection with God. i mean i still believed in Him and i still had faith in Him, but just didnt have that emotional connection. so one of my goals of BAAYF was to rgain that connection. all week ive been praying for this spiritual high. i didnt feel it and when friday came, i thought it was over. but instead God blessed me with something else. He made me realized that this experience ive been thru was truely a witness to all the great that happend at camp. one thing that stood out most was during one of the altar calls on like wednesday night i think. ppl were accepting Christ there, but two middle school boys got to me. these boys were soo young that you would have nvr thought they would even know what was going on at baayf. they were boys that would probably go ewww if they saw two ppl hugging. u would think that they were just there for fun or their mom made them go. but when they came up
to the altar and was crying and just poured out their feelings, that really touched. the counselors just stood up there praying for them the whole time. it was such a blessing to witness something so grand as this. God does amazing things. another thing i witnessed was an answered prayer. this cabin prayed as a group for their counselor seeing him thru his struggles. i mean i dont know the whole story so i cant talk about it too much but it was such an amazing feeling to witness.

(Rosalies Message) - Rosalie had small messages every night. one message stood out most to me. she said we should be an Aroma to the world. just like when you walk into a house and if there was cookies being baked, you would immediately sense the nice and sweet aroma. as Christians we should be the same thing. when we enter a room, ppl should sense our "aroma" and know we are Christians thru our actions that reflect Christ.

overall it was GREAT. it was different from last year and thats what i liked. like marc said, even tho the "high" wasnt really there, this year really helped us mature in our faith and we will take the things we learned and experienced and apply them to our lives. God has a plan, and BAAYF really helped show that to me this year.

i seriously encourage EVERYONE to experience BAAYF tho. even if your intentions are to just have fun, i gurantee you will take sometihng out of it that will change you as a person either greatly or maybe just a little bit. BAAYF helped me grow alot and hopefully it will help others.

"Missions exist because worship doesn't."

BAAYF!!!!

August 2-7.

its nice to retreat away frm the city and just relax. :]

Blogs

blogs are in a sense, ppl's personal diaries so bloggers tend to sometimes write about their thoughts and feelings. its a place where ppl can vent out to someone w/o actually talking to someone. gets things off our chests. a lot of times, ppl that read blogs think what they read is all the blogger is about. but blogs are public so evn tho some things seem personal, their inner MOST personal thoughts might not be written out. so when we read blogs and we read about thoughts and situations. we shouldnt act on them immediately. what we read on blogs should be secondary and its just for us to know but not necessarily act on. we cant always "assume" that the blogger is talking about what we are thinking about just because it matches the description in our head. you never know, it might just not be who or what we're thinking about. most of the time, blogs are figurative.

this might kinda personal, but needed to get it off my chest......

he feels like a jerk. he didnt mean to but feels like he led her on and left her in the dust. sometimes he does things but doesnt realize they have effect on ppl. he feels like he made a player move. and it might look like hes a player but on the inside he truly isnt and doesnt want to be seen as one. hes sorry for all hes done and everything that happened. sorry, honestly. just aint ready yet.

i just pray.

Irritated

morning was good. went to cornerstone. worship was a little different frm ours. but it was all good. REALLY liked their sunday school. i think im going to check out cornerstone more often.

was kinda irritated after service. i think it was partly b/c of the super long sermon. was sleepy to begin with and then became restless. but also a little bit due to the fact of being asked to play for worship. i dont like it when im "forced" to play. it comes across as if i HAVE TO play b/c they are short ppl or tired of doing it. i know they dont mean it like that and i really dont blame them or hold grudges. but idk. im really not that good. i might do fine if i practice but personally idk if i can commit time to practice. at least not at the moment. i dont feel as if im called to play. i orginally took on guitar as a stress reliever. but yea.

havent really been "on track" lately. feel kinda spiritually dead or at a halt. maybe cus im not feeling that high i want. maybe BAAYF and Young Adult Retreat will hehlp. but those "retreat highs" dont last forever and i know that. i guess i feel that things at nsm are too......routine. i want more out of it. like jeffrey said, not spiritually challenging i guess.

"We should forgive because we were forgiven."-cornerstone sermon

YAY! today i made my first shot of the season. a three pointer! super happy. praise Him for that. we lost by three tho. went into OT. o well. win or lose, we praise.

i do miss it........

dear heavenly father,

i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know where to take this. i just pray that you guide me, lord. i pray that you just show me your plan for me and help direct me in the direction i need to go. this is big struggle for me and i need your help, lord. also i pray that you watch over her and keep her safe. i pray that you help her with anything she might be going through, keep her faithful lord. allow her to speak to you or to someone that can help her lord. relieve her burdens. i just thank you for this day, lord. greatful for great day at work, at the game and the fellowship tonight. thank you lord.

i pray this in your sons name. amen

King Tut

got some staff tickets and saw king tut with my mom. it was nice, date with my mother. hehe

yea overall it was sick i guess. cool special effects at the beginning. gave u a feeling of being in an actual tomb. but yea some of the pieces were repetitive. and wished there was some dead bodies there haha in the coffins. if only i knew more info, then the exhibit would of be HECKA interesting.

sadly i wasnt allow take pics. wanted to show u cus you couldnt come. i was thinking of taking them any ways and pretend like i didnt know but yea didnt wanna get in trouble. o well.




got this off google. i liked this piece the most. its a board game, different game on each side and had a little draw to put the pieces away. sick.


me and my moms. my hat is messed up but i wanted a pic with my moms. :]

so i went back to look again today, sadly no luck once again..............:[
for some reason i have a feeling its not lost, but i always feel like that when i "lose" something like the bible i lost at retreat. maybe i should just let it go and stop worrying about the past...


you know i just came to realize something. God's been good to me financially and i havent been noticing. whenever im broke or need money, it always seems to come to me some how. praise Him for that. last two days i got $150 from my uncles for graduation. didnt expect it. the only problem is myself. i tend to spend it on things that isnt AS necessary.


not saying its bad. but just wondering, do we king guy thai dawl? i like your wake up calls :)

Being SOLID

good sermon today

the three C's

Choice- making choices in life is a big deal. sometimes we need to find out and live for what God wants for us. it might be hard cus some of us listen to our parents. but sometimes what they want isnt what God wants and we need to trust that God's way is the better way. i kinda struggle with that slightly in terms of my future and what i should do. but im slowly starting to trust.

Cornerstone- a "cornerstone" is that one perfect stone that sets the foundation for a building. what's our cornerstone in life. Jesus Christ is that perfect cornerstone that we should build our life on. we have to be willing to do that.

Community-our community and the people in and around it. they play a huge role in our lives. our decisions, how they help us and how we help them.

these are the things that makes us SOLID.

-hard to say but reality is everything can disappear anytime, sometimes even our parents. the one and only solid thing is Jesus.He's ALWAYS here for you. learn to Trust

i failed........

cant believe i lost it. like seriously. feel soo bad. idk how im gonna let this go. i MUST find it. :[



thanks crystal <3

pretty good and bad day. ppl mad at ppl. but overall i guess, it was good. nice night. jadeylnn's so shy :]

real talk

so ive been having doubts. how can this be? so good, so fast? ive been questioning it and its been messing with me, getting me lost. but this whole time ive been forgetting one important thing. TRUST. God has a plan. and i have to remember to trust in that plan. "Trust in the Lord and do good." -Psalm 37:3 i mean things dont happen for no reason. God knows what hes doing even if we dont. i was placed with this in my life for a reason. i shouldnt have doubts. i should be living it out and trust that what ever happens happens for a good reason and God is in control of the good. He would nvr harm us. idk i guess its hard when we as humans tend to want to know the outcomes and want that certainty. we dont want those "risk and struggles" but life isnt about knowing your future, its about living for it and having that faith and trust. i just need to realize and remember this

glad i had this talk. thanks jim.

Bowling

so after our game at el camino, (or like she saids el co :]) , we went bowling. went to classic bowl, nvr bowled there but we freakin waited TWO hours cus we wanted three lanes but ended up only getting only 2........anyways i didnt feel like bowling anymore at that point but they made me. got home at 330 am. SOO tired.

such a dumb decision to go bowling. should have nvr went. would have rather went home like a gwai jai and talk to dup beat. :] sorry for making you wait and ended up being soo late. ill make it up to you, promise.

Taking It Slow

even tho it was a good day, still had some thoughts.

"Take it slow." ppl tell me so. i know so. even tho sometimes its hard, i can say i have it under control. pressures, desires, temptations, things like that. but i guess the real problem isn't taking it slow, it's know what i want. know what she wants. just knowing how to go where i need to go. i dont care how it goes, i just want to know where it goes i guess. idk. i guess i need to have faith and pray. even if it doesnt go where I want it to go, i need to understand it will go somewhere good. :] amen to that.

feel much better after reflecting this :] im a happy person haha

Bad People

this is what i think:

i dont think people are ever "bad". they dont do bad things cus they want to, but its cus they need to. sometimes the bad way to go is the easier way to go and thats why people tend to do it.

but my point is i think it's unfair that ppl are labeled as "bad" jus cus of something wrong they did in the past. everyone has their "bad" moments or history. i believe that people can change. they might have been like this or that BEFORE. but NOW can be different.

so this is why when someone tells me something about someone, i try to not believe it. because often times, even best friends tend to miss things about one another. and they might think they know someone but no one really KNOWS someone unless that someone tells you that themselves. they might see the outside, but the inside cant be seen, it must be heard. so when ppl talk about other ppl, things get misheard and rumors starts and might make that person sound like something he/she isnt. honestly tho sometimes when someone tells me something bad , it does sometimes mess with my head. but at the end of the day, i tell myself i need to witness it for myself and it helps.

i think the best way to know someone is to just them directly. even if its a personal question, it can be asked. but do it politely and if they dont want to tell u, then respect that b/c not everyone needs to know everything. curiosity is a desire, not a necessity. so i personally like it when ppl just ask me things, rather then hear it from others. im pretty open but if i dont tell, then i dont tell. i know its hard sometimes cus u dont know how comfortable or open someone is and thats just reality. but i give permission to anybody to ask me anything about me cus i rather u ask and me not tell u then to have you trying to go figure it out from other ppl that can get me wrong.

Special :]

Idk. its funny haha

before when i liked someone, it was hard to talk to them. like idk, it felt awkward and yea. but now its all natural and easy. i feel happy talking to her. maybe this was what i was waiting for all my life. someone who im comfortable with. letting her be who she is and me be who i am. maybe who i "liked" before wasnt really liking. idk but i like what i have now and i have a feeling this time its different :] praise God for this. pray that it will go my way.

iminlikewithyou <3

Question

When does being outgoing or friendly be considered "flirting"? Is the difference the intentions behind it?

If it is "flirting", is it bad to "flirt"? Only if you don't have means of leading them on?

Being TOO Friendly

after an incident, ive been more careful about being friendly to girls. im not saying now, im mean to them, but just not as friendly. especially girls in relationships. b/c their boyfriends might get the wrong idea unless i know i have their trust in me. b/c sometimes when u become friendly, especially in convo, some might see it as "flirting", getting the wrong idea. the main problem i guess is that im scared i might lead them on. not saying im so good that i do that to everyone. i mean ive hurt girls before and ive seen girls get hurt and it really isnt the best experience. i had no intention to do it but i just wasnt ready to have a relationship. so if my intentions arent to have interest in them, should i not worry leading them on and just be myself and be friendly with them?

b/c honestly, being the "mean" guy isnt too fun and it hurts friend relationships. but its the only way to reduce the risk of leading them on. cus isnt it better to have her hate you, than to have her like you first then hate you? this way only one person gets hurt, you and not both, her and you.


after reading FYMO, i think i've found my answer.
thank God for bringing this to me. amen

Stopped

ok so i feel lately ive been like stopped spiritually. like idk, jsut aint feeling that high no more and the main reason might be b/c im not doing devos or quiet times. but its because of senioritis and cus i have alot to think about. like PROM and AP. like when i get home, senioritis makes me not want to do anything so i go on the computer. next thing u know it, its late and i want to sleep and no time for QT. also i guess maybe b/c im a senior, everything is like coming to an end for me cus im going off to college. so i end ot use this time, replacing God with FUN and hang out with friends. i mean I know God will ALWAYS be there, but friends arent. so is that a good reason save to God for later?

At A Hault

i feel that newstart is at spiritual hault. like honestly i dont feel like im growing from it anymore. i just dont get that high like i use to. worship is slowly feeling like just singing now. like going to church is feeling like a habit rather than a passionate desire. i mean i dont know if we should see this as a problem or if this just happens to every church. but i thought about it with some people. and i came to realize, this whole time i blame the church for my lack of growth. but the real problem is in me. we always expect CHURCH to grow us. but that's not how it is. We don't grow because the church grows, the church grows because we grow. we make up the church and it is up to ourselves to enhance our relationship with God. church is there for the extra support. and when our spirituality grows, it will show, it will rub off on to other in and outside of the church and THAT will help the church grow. we cant and shouldnt rely on these "rub off" of others to give us that "high". but these rub offs are to help us grow and look deeper into the relationship. so yea. i just need to find my place and continue to look towards God, rather than use church to grow me.

"We don't grow because the church grows, the church grows because we grow."

LC Tree

the tag on the tree is still good!
since 6.22.07.

Without Application

so i was talking with someone about Boys Breakfast Club. i was telling them how i didnt get anything out of it. it was more of a fellowship rather than a spiritual thing. but thought about it again, and i came to realize, even though there wasnt much of a spiritual side of it, i did manage to get something out of it. i learned some pretty useful and meaningful stuff. but the problem was APPLICATION. i didnt really apply it to my life. and if i had, great things might have came out of it, for myself and for the good of others.

but i agree, it is hard to apply the stuff ON THE SPOT. you cant be like, in this situation "oh, this book saids to do this, so ill ......". that makes it fake. i guess u have to slowly adapt and incorporate it into our lives. this way guys can treat girls with the respect and care that they deserve. i pray that each and everyone of us from the breakfast club will take something positive like this out of it and that God will help me and them to apply these to our lives. not necessarily to attract a significant other, but as caring human beings and loving Christians.

Cool Gadgets

Fireproof (2008)

my new favorite movie is definitely "Fireproof (2008)". seriously its THAT good.
yes, i cried.....big deal. but seriously its good and meaningful. not b/c its a good love/relationship story. but the spiritual aspect of it is soo great:

so this weak i was struggling with a tough thought, my future. my parents want me to make money, ALOT of money. enough to give them a good retirement. im just sooo scared that im going to ruin this "one time chance" at college. im scared that i wont understand the material and not graduate successfully. so ive been trying to decide on a major that will give me good pay and that isnt too hard. the fact is, i cant know my future and i have to learn to deal with the present and anticipate the future one step at a time. after watching this movie it just gives me that motivation i needed. i have to learn to Trust in God and that he WILL help me fight through the "fires" that come my way. this movie showed that God just does so many amazing things. as long as your faith is in Him, he will do you good. praise such an amazing God.

Good Friday Guys

MUST SEE-I bought the DVD. just ask


"Being fireproof doesn't mean fire can't hurt you. It means that you have the strength to fight against it."

Sorry For Judging

anyways. so coming from my ride back. i was talking to him about faith and stuff like that. it was a good talk. got some good stuff about it. but yea so he mentioned that she often talks to him about these things too on the phone and stuff. and i was pretty surprised and happy at the same time. i love it when i see someone growing in faith. it shows that someone out there is "shining their light" and making a difference. but yea after that car ride going there and back i definitely learned some stuff about faith wise and non-faith wise that i was so wrong about.i so felt bad at the same time because this whole time i judged her based on what i heard and my experiences with hs girls and stuff and stuff. but ived learned my lesson. this sounds like based on this experience, i know what shes about. maybe it is, maybe it isnt, but i wouldn't mind finding out.

yea just wanted to say im sorry and let you know that i did this but didnt mean to. hope no one takes this the wrong way or think too much of it.

Good Friday!

so yesterday was such a GREAT FRIDAY!. day went pretty smoothly and i really enjoyed it. at club, i hosted a game, Peanut Butter Game("borrowed" it from YL haha). yea even though i kinda forgot some stuff at home and the items we used wasnt as good as i wanted, the game went pretty well. everyone went along with it and it was GREAT. after school i had dinner with marc, chris, henry. the two that didn't go out normally, went out with us and it was full of laughter. such a GREAT night to allow us to fellowship with one another.

but there was two moments/things that definitely contributed to the greatness of the day.

thing/moment #1- so during club, one of the people from Eagle News(school news cast), went to our club and asked to interview us. i was interviewed. this was amazing because this shows that people wanted to know about BASIC. and since this was going to be on TV, the whole school got to see it. they helped us inform others about this xlub, maybe Christians that dont know about BASIC, or non-Christians that want to find out. but yea even though i forgot to mention the Room number we were in, i still felt that it was a great moment/thing. (WE're in SHOP 7!!)lol

thing/moment #2- so after dinner, the guys and i went to walgreens. outside was a homeless guy and he asked me for change. i gave him the change i had in my pocket, 15 cents. i was feeling SUPER generous for some reason so i went inside and decided to get him some candy too. got him some Raisinets(good stuff ppl). but when i went outside, he left, and was all the way down the block. i guess he saw me looking for him so he waved back a "thank you". i kinda regret not just introducing myself and maybe have a small conversation, asking his name and such. but its okay, b/c even though i didnt do it that night, it opened my eyes. now i saw what i never noticed before. i mean we walk around everyday, and we see these ppl that are in need, but most of the time they see "invisible" to us. we just aren't looking. now i see it and will think about it everytime im in the streets. i just thank God for bringing this guy forward to me and allowing me to see what i nvr noticed before.

GREAT Turn Out!

the potluck was a BLAST!! so honestly i had my doubts based on previous experiences with BASIC events and stuff. but today was GREAT beyond words! everything flowed sooo smoothly. dinner, and the game, and then worship. soo good. seriously. i just praise God for such any amazing night. there wasnt any awkwardness. all our fellow Brothers and Sisters just united. even though we go to different schools or live all the way across the city. we are all here for one thing, Christ and that's what unifies us.this is the ONE BODY we were aiming for and with God's help, it came. sometimes i think we worry too much and we just have to calm down and let Him take control. "Trust in the Lord and do good"- Psalm 37:3 . i say that a lot and i try to make that my motto, but sometimes its hard. but tonight definitely opened my eyes for me. this made my night. SUPER psyched for the coming up events. THANKS EVERYONE FOR COMING AND SUPPORT AND HELP!

Dizzy

so today i didnt go to school. im kinda HARD huh? haha jk. no, i woke up and i was feeling hecka dizzy, like drowsy. nausea or something. but yea. so i told my mom and she let me stay home. now i missed three tests.........o well. :] what a waste of a day though. its short B schedule so i get out at 12:41. could have played basketball, could have practiced guitar with wendy, could have experienced sun shine for once this week! man. but yea i slept almost all day. but i had some pretty cool dreams. two dreams.

DREAM ONE - i was like leaving my aunts house or something and i accidently broke her FAVORITE lamp. then i was in a car driving. for some reason i was speeding and a cop pulled me over, his lights werent flashing though. i was kinda scared so i fled away and totaled the car. that was it. my life would have been over if this really happend to me haha imagine what my parents would do. then i woke up

DREAM TWO - it was kinda cooler haha. so like for some reason we knew a flood or something was coming at like 8:30. so we had to get on our friends boat to be safe. like a big boat. like a yacht. so we decided to go to a super market to stock up on stuff. like a safeway. so everyone was in charge of a different aisle, to get food. so for some reason everyone was taking it all chill. all slow and just chatting as they go. i was the only rushing and i was rushing eveyrone. so we were almost out of time. then finally time was up. but for some reason no flood came. then i woke up haha

after i woke up i got some text. then had lunch, watchign Leverage all day haha good stuff!

The Hundreds

I want this :]

Over Thinking

(wow i havent written in a while. lol o well.)

anyways so yea, i guess tend to over think alot. and personally i know it myself. but i guess it's when other ppl tell you it, thats when you really like "notice" it haha. but yea i dont why i do it. maybe because i care too much about other things? or i want to know like every factor of everything so i have the situation under control? idk. but any who. it can be good and bad. sometimes it makes me miserable because i worry about things that arent that serious. it gets me assuming things that isnt as bad as it seems. like over reacting i guess, but mentally. but other times, its good! cus it helps me plan things, taking EVERYTHING into account and that makes things good. also, it makes me quite observant. i "see" alot that others dont notice, or they notice but dont happen to think about. but yea. i guess pray for me that i will only take advantage of the "good" in my overthinking and not stress too much about the "bad" of it.

Louie Giglio

Louie Giglio, this guy's is amazing, trully great. must watch this video. watch all 5 parts but part 5 for sure.

Phillipians 2:5-8

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Things I Want

there are soo many things i want but i just cant get. these things might be material things. like new clothes, new shoes. stuff for my room, technology, things like that. can't get them because i have no money or at least not any to waste. but technically i dont really NEED them b/c this "want" is only a at the moment thing. after a while, these things get old and i no longer want them. so it is a waste of money.

there are other "things" i want. but these "things" aren't really what i WANT, they are more like things i SHOULD WANT b/c other ppl have them and this obligation to get them is there. but i come to realize, its just not the right time for me yet to get "them". i believe that when it is right, "it" will come. but its been hard i guess to keep this motivation in me. seeing things and being around things kind of throw me off track sometimes. but i havent been turning to God for this and thats my first mistake. ive been trying to deal with it myself and its way out of my league. i have to trust in Him and rely on Him. He will do me good and when it is right, He will present it to me.

(lol. this blog might not make sense, but when you know what the "things" are, it does. :] )

"Trust in the Lord and do good." -Psalm 37:3

Cal Poly

I GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!! ssooo happy because this is the first college acceptance i got ! haha but the thing that made me even more happy was i was EXEMPTED from taking the English Placement Test because I did good on my STAR test on the EAP thing. now i know what this "EAP" stood for. when i was taking the STAR EAP section, teachers were like just take it, and because no one knew what it was for, we didn't care about it much but im glad i took it seriously. now it paid off! woooohoooo!!

Laminin

Today at fellowship jim showed us an AMAZING video. it talked about LAMININ, a protein in our bodies that is the reason for holding us all together. best part yet is it is in a shape of a cross. the video will explain it all.








MUST WATCH!!!!!

Guitaring

this week ive been trying to play guitar 24/7!!! non stop- especially since we dindt have school til 1 on tuesday and wednesday, i was staying up late playing, but i have to sacrifice hw . but it was okay cus we didnt have much anyways. so i watched youtube like everyday, learnign a lil some some here and there. man too bad i dont know much dang it but im SUPER excited. and i have the ambition to learn it lol. plan is to lead at least one worship with wendy :]. im having second thoughts, since theres so short on time but i will try to learn songs by then. wooohoo!!! excited much!

Underdog

yesterday at service. "donna". haha jk. donnabel talked about how we always aim to be FIRST and ON TOP when maybe we should try to be humble. her example was golf, the only sport we try to get the LEAST pars in. so asked us how or what we could do at school to help out. or something like that. i forgot the specifics. shame on me. but anyways the point is that one of the things she mentioned was reaching out to the "underdogs" like Jesus did. all the people He approached werent the TOP OF THE LINE ppl. it was the ppl on the bottom, the outcast. so she suggested maybe at school, there might be the "nerds" or the ppl that no one talk to. we should try to approach and invite them in. so i thought about this, at wash we dont have those kinds. everyone has someone to talk to right. in majority it is true. but then today i realized something else. one of our close friends IS in that situation kind of. even though we known him all our lives, i feel that sometimes we exclude him, not purposely but the topics jus dont relate to him. even though it isnt as severe as some of the other ppl out there or the ones Jesus approached, its still a SOMEONE. hes our friend and we should watch each other's back. so praise God that i noticed this. will be making effort to include him. :]

such a GREAT night today. i think i got my answer to my prayers. :]

Love

after talking to bobo, i came to realize some conclusions.
ok so it starts with a CRUSH, then leads into DEVELOPMENT/RELATIONSHIP, then eventually to LOVE. course in between there are like obstacles and boost and things like that that brings it up and down. But the main question ppl ask is "Why do you like HER?". me personally, and along with some other guys i know can't ever really answer that question. i mean we can answer WHAT we like about her. her looks, personality, style of clothing, maybe even faith. but there are alot of other girls with the same traits, so why specifically HER. i could nvr answer that and i nvr knew why. until now

conclusion: so this is what i came up with. there are probably more factors to this or even more conclusions but this is one conclusion i thought up with. so i believe the answer to this "WHY-question" lies in stage 3, the LOVE part. and most ppl ask this question when they are only on the crush part or relationship part. so they just are deep enough with one another to answer that question. i believe once you reach LOVE, you will be able to answer it.

ME:so ive been trying to figure my situation out and i think i kinda got it. i think i am too hard on myself. like i nvr want to actually "confirm" i like someone because i might end up changing my feelings. when you "like" someone, it is usually a crush. and reality is crushes do eventually fade if you dont act on it or nothing is acted on it. like if there's no communication going. if u dont see them or talk to them. so if say i "like" them, the crush might end up fading and people might not know so they assume you still like them and they usually automatically determine "your crush" as yours even though you might have moved on. this means if you do end up for a new target, the "player" label is put on you.i guess that's what im scared of? that i cant move on because what others assume to be yours. i guesss thats it. i want serious long term, not "high school dating". hahah maybe thats its. well thanks bobo for getting thinking. :]

"Some people say it is better to have loved and lost it, then to never have loved at all. But if it was really love, would you have let yourself lose it?"

Money's Tight

so my dad suddenly approached me with FAFSA info and all this stuff about how i need to get student loans and stuff. apparently he talked to his "accountant" and i need to do this and that and whatever before the slots are taken up. so yea i told him i ALREADY filled out the FAFSA. just waiting for the report. and yea. so im kinda worried about paying for college and stuff. i know my parents cant afford it. and i know i will have to do some loans and stuff but yea. but good thing im not scared. im ready to take on the challenges and i guess i will have to make some social life sacrifices in order to work and pay for tuition of college. o well. im ready. HE has a plan and i believe in its goodness.

i also calculated how much i needed to save up for the things i wanted to do senior year like BOAT DANCE, PROM, SENIOR TRIP. i got roughly $1200. course there is extra thrown in there but yea. so im gonna start saving up. no more wasting money on food and things. gotta find a job too. looking at Blockbuster, its close and not too bad lol.

"It's good to worry, but don't like your worries turn into fear."

Back To Old Ways

Man, i think i might be going back to my old ways/habits in terms of at home. i made a new goal this year, even though it isn't listed in my aim profile(i guess i will to remind myself) to stop yelling at my parents. i mean i dont really yell AT them, like i respond to them by yelling and its not because im mad or anything. it's just due to lack of sleep i guess. i procrasinate and end up sleeping late to finish hw, then wake up early. getting only like 5-6 hours of sleep which is way not enough. and b/c of it i get irritated and then whenever like my parents try talking to me i get MEAN. not good.

its also killing the relationship with God. b/c of the lack of sleep, i crunch my time to do hw. so basically HW is coming first. i play, then do hw, then sleep and got no in between time to bible study or even think deeply. sometimes i do try praying before bed. but sometimes i get too tired to finish the prayer and end up not wanting to do it. church and fellowship are the only times when im actually more motivated. but even then, the sleep catches up and i sometimes blank out at sunday school. NOT GOOD! boo me haha. i gotta stop procrasinating and get some beauty sleep.

Linking Us

Today at B.A.S.I.C, I gave my very first sermon. it was good i guess or alright. pretty comfortable talking but i really wished that my talk was deeper and it should have reached out to them more but mainly i just defined the verse, not really applying it. o well, its first of many and you can't have good without bad so yea. :] i talked about Matthew 5:3-4, the first two blessings of the Beatitudes.

3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

But the coolest part was that at fellowship, Jim gave his talk and it linked up to mine. it was kind of like a follow-up. i talked about how we sin and we should lament and mourn over our sins, asking forgiveness(Matthew 5:4). Jim talked about basically the same thing. he explained that we do ask for forgiveness and we receive it but often times, even though God forgives us, we dont forgives ourselves. we tend to remember it and blame ourselves everytime. we should learn to understand if God forgives, we should forgive and forget as well. jim also talked about how when we sin sometimes, we feel even worst and guilty about it at church so we tend to hide and maybe reject church, but we should instead be turning to God for this time of grief. and "beg" him for help(Matthew 5:3) for we are poor in spirit.

WOW! realizing that jim really basically covered my verse really shows how God is so amazing with his work. Jim just made his more in depth allowing me to learn and maybe teach it again. He linked us together. this really made my day.

Such a GREAT night.

"God allows grief into our lives as a path, not as a destination."

Obama

Hurray for Obama!! hoping for good things to happen. Change. thats good. i just hope he pulls us out of this mess and brings us up like he said he would. but i totally support him 100 percent. :]

so i saw something pretty cool today after i had lunch with my g-mama in japan town. we were leaving towards chinatown going down Bush street. then i noticed all the street signs had OBAMA on it instead of BUSH. i thought that was hecka cool. i wanted to take a pic of it but we drove by it too fast. later i came back for it but someone had already ripped the sticker off. what a shame. lol


-Took this pic from the Invisible Stripes blog

Struggling

With it being a new year, i pray that newstart will continue to grow. i feel that right now the activity is slowly wearing out. like right after retreat, everyone was still gung-ho from the retreat. and i really liked how uncle jack did those weekly sharings and things like that during service. and all those new bible studies that everyone is trying to start. it really does remind us of donnabel's "Step It Up" motto. but one thing i really liked is how andrew, last sunday, mentioned how we keep out faith too comfortable. we tend to grow only with what is comfortable but we never take that risk and do something out of our comfort zone. and that is totally understandable. we dont know the outcome and its just hard to do. change is hard. a great example would be like when we see kids raise up their hands during worship. you see people doing it and you say to yourself should i do it? or i want to but i cant really because once people see the difference, they start making comments and i think this is what we need to pray about. we need to pray that we can grow and trust in Him that the outcome will be good. we need to pray and understant that no one will judge, that no one should judge. even small careless comments matter. i think once we are able to break these "boundaries" we will trully be ONE BODY. i just pray that we can continue to grow and not just get all gung-ho after these "spirit boosters" like retreats but rather grow throughout our lives. yea this is extremely hard and its one of the things i need to work on too. i guess i just have to remember, this isn't just for yourself. but it is also for God and your fellow brothers and sisters in christ.

"Push your faith beyound what is comfortable."

Christians vs Non-Christians

One assumption a lot of people is that Christians automatically are super Godly and full of faith. you would expect them to be all out there and shining their light and doing this and that. but that isn't necessarily the case. christians might sometimes be weaker in faith than new christians. the reason is that christians live a "too comfortable" life. they tend to be sheltered from all the bad and don't see the uncomfortable so when something uncomfortable comes along, it is hard for them to adapt. this might be the case of why you dont see some christians "stepping it up". they just arent use to the uncomfort-ness. on the other hand, it is kind of easier to non-christians to become stronger in faith because this is new to them and they want to get to know it more. they probably seen all the struggles and hardship and now is turning to a solution and are all gung-ho for it. and this isn't the case for all non-christians and christians but this is one perspective and it was kind of what josh and i talked about. but yea, i am kind of tired so im not sure i got all of it down.

also another thing is that often times new christians are scared to participate verbally in church discussions like at sunday school is that because they are scared of saying the "wrong" things. i know people tell you "there is no such thing as the wrong thing" but there is still this boundary that separates. i was there once and i know how it feels. i have also witnessed some friends and people that because of this, they arent as active in discussions. but i talked about this with a friend. he made the point that it is kind of harder for christians to speak out because basically they are expected to know it and they have a little more pressure. i dont really know which side to take but these are just some of my thoughts. i guess when in doubt, Jesus is always the right answer. haha

Late Night Adventures

Like a few months ago, josh marc and i would go drive out to our "late night adventures" after fellowship. usually lasted til like 12 ish but yea. we would mainly just talk. we talk about a lot of things, girls, boys, school, newstart, our faith. and these conversations are really helpful. we update each other and it helps us get through. for me at least. problems get solved, plans are created and faith grows. so tonight, it was just me and josh. we talked about christians vs non-christians, B.A.S.I.C christian club, and christianity within newstart. we noticed alot and we talked about it. and i reallly enjoy these long conversations. really do. i think one of the best things to do is just go out with someone in a car and just park and talk. it really helps you and really is relieving. i think from now on im going to make that an offer when ever i drive or whenever. ill offer to just go with someone to talk. quite the reliever. i thank God for friends like josh that take the time to just talk with. thanks josh.

Fortune Cookies: i bought a bag of fortune cookies for newstart potluck and i have one at home. i ate the whole bag today so i got a bijillion quotes. heres one of them:

"With clothes the new are best; with friends the old are best."

Cool Chair!!!

I saw this on a blog and this is awesome!!! I need to get me one of them:

Modular chair
Uploaded by grrrrreg

Potluck

So the leaders of some Christian clubs from high schools(wallenberg, washington, lowell, galileo, balboa, lincoln) have been organizing monthly activities to try and unify sf christians. so far so good. our first event is a POTLUCK. sooooo excited. i really love these interschool christian events we are doing. seriously its like bigger than what we are use to and our normal everyday activites like church and club. Heres the Whats Up:

@ Sunset Church (43rd&Lawton)
Saturday, February 21st, 2009
5-9 PM
Bring food!

• Lincoln: Appetizers/Snacks for 70 people
  
• Balboa: Fruits/Veggies for 70 people
• Wallenberg: Drinks/Utensils/Plates/Cups/Napkins for 70 people
• Washington: Main Entrees for 40 people
• Lowell: Main Entrees for 40 people
• Galileo: Dessert for 70 people

Try to let your leaders at your school know beforehand or ask me about it.
You DONT have to be Christian!!!
Thanks!

Predestination

Today in Sunday school we talked about God's control. basically it was the topic of "predestination" that we had at the baayf seminar. about like how God has a will and what ever we do is part of his will. and what about free will and stuff like that. i remember this topic was filled with on going questions and the speaker at baayf answered it with the same answer: "it's his will and part of his hidden will" something like that. it doesn't really make sense but in a deep way it does make sense. it's one of those things that aren't explanable but you just have to get. and its good that its unexplanable because God works in miraculous ways and sometimes we just dont get it for He IS the Almighty God. but i love these kinds of topics. there are always soo many questions and not necessarily enough answers and it keeps people thinking and thinking. the discussion goes on and on and the interest becomes greater and greater. if we had all the time in the world, it would go on forever. i just love how it challenges us to think more. its kinda of learnign and fellowshiipping at the same time. so great :]

My Car

So today i woke up at like 8:30 at the jungs house. auntie annie picked up marc and i and we went to chinatown to buy fortune cookies and bao for the newstart potluck. chinese people are rude in chinatown. old ladies especially haha. but yea so after they dropped me off and silver cut and i took my parents car and drove to practice. first day of practice and first time i drove to practice it was nice. so basically i had the car all day. drove to get arbys, got home, ate, showered and drove to church haha then yea i love having the car to myself. lets me sing without anyone listening LOL haha but no seriosuly. its a sense of freedom and yea. cant wait to get my own car. there was a cop following me when i was driving to practice. i was SOO scared haha. good thing i wasnt speeding lol. or it would have been gg for me :]

Bus Rides

Bus rides are the best place to be calm especially when you live a "loud" life. But only when it is not super crowded and the weather isn't depressing. So today I took the 18 to Sports Night. The sun was setting and the skies were clear. Just perfect. I had my headphones on and i was just sitting in the back by myself. I love it like this because it's all calm and i get to relax and think about things sometimes. It just lets you escape, sorta like a mini "at the moment retreat" from society.

Finals Are Over!

YES! Finals are FINALly over!!! haha. so even though this week was the hardest week with today the hardest final, it ends well. im feeling kind of good and happy. it's just when you have something so difficult, the end result if more satisfying. but yea BASICally i failed like half the finals. hope I get B at the lowest in all my classes. going to go to school 2m to make sure my grades are legit.

basketball, been playing for the last three days. first time in like a month. but wasnt really satisfied with my performance. i hope i get better for CCU. practice for DB is starting this week. now im going to bulk up again haah.

"The more difficult the task, the greater the satisfaction when accomplished."

Night Time Thinkings

So it's 11:18 and i have finals 2m. i was extremely tired when i came home so i barely studied for like an hour and went to bed at 10 sharp. but for the last hour and 18 minutes i wasnt able to sleep. so i decided to blog.

so while laying here, i was thinking of random things. i thought about what would happen if i had cancer haha. not funny but yea. then i thought about my childhood. i remember the first time i shop lifted. it was when i was really young like first grade of something. my mom brought me to Ross and i went to the toy area. saw this really cool kind of toy car. a mini one. so i asked my mom can i have it. i was practically begging her to let me steal it haha but yea i ended up taking it. shame on me i know. o well. so yea. night times, right before you sleep is when your mind runs wild. im a genius at night!!! like i come up with the best things like ideas for BASIC and my room and other things but i always forget them when i wake up. so now i leave a notebook by my bed and a pen. jus in case i come up with the cure for AIDs or something haha. ok good night guys.

Good Day

Today was pretty good. Woke up at like 12 but didnt want to. still was hecka tired but i woke up to do calc. lame. then after that i eat the spaghetti my mom made me. it was soon 3 and i left for sunday school. decided to walk and enjoy the quietness and just think. it was great.

As i was walking noticed two things. there was a house that had boxes of free books. saw the word "God" on it so i decided to check it out. turned out to be someting stupid and not Christian God. then a few blocks later saw this real estate agent. he was leaving the house and was trying to get out through the garage. but each time he shut the door, the door would hit his shoulder and open up again. it was pretty funny haha. but after two times he failed, i was going to walk over there and help him out. but luckily he made it on the third try. thirds the charm.

Church was good. did the usual. curtis talked about alcohol and words like "shoot" and "freakin". whether they are okay or not. he also mentioned about his friend was surprised he was Christian. that made me think about "Shining your light". he made a point that at school we might have a different side. if we shine it well enough, everywhere, people shouldnt be surprised you are Christian. then after when i went to ask jim to borrow a bible, he sat down with me and asked me what he can pray for me for. i was sooo happy he did that. i didnt really have anything so we just sat and talked for a while. its soo great to have ppl like jim at newstart, just come up to you and ask you about how you are, show that they care. that made my day.

"Shine your light not on a pedestal and putting yourself out there, but rather through your faith and actions so people will experience your glory of God."

United In Christ SF

Yay, second day of blogging. Don't plan to blog everyday but i might.

So today I woke up at like 12:50 ish. Stinkin marc called me at 10 and woke me up haha jk i dont care at all. but yea, then i bused with lorraine down to ally's house to have our meeting with all the other hs christian clubs. talked about our up coming pot luck, rally and scavenger hunt. extremely excited about them! i Really like that we have this UnitedInChristSF meeting with the hs christian clubs. it helps spread faith bigger than our everyday places like school and church. part of donnabel's "Step It Up" challenge.

"If you take short cuts, you get cut short."

First Timer

Thought I might give blogging a try. First time for me I guess.

So the "25 Things" thing has been the new FB hit. My first one was dumb, had a hidden message but only me and one other person know about it and it was a failure haha. So I felt like doing a REAL one so here it goes:


Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. God
2. currently learning the guitar
3. big Wong Fu fan
4. can be shy at first but won't be eventually
5. STRONGLY DISLIKE liars, seriously, rather have someone tell me a mean truth than a good lie, I'm just glad that you're honest, wouldn't take it offensively at all
6. i like ......... her :]
7. don't really have a favorite food or flavor, likes things to be different and unique everytime
8. loves things that are NEW and fresh, like clothes, electronics, and other things
9. good with hands-on crafts
10. likes learning, curious about many things, but don't like reading to get the knowledge(unless its interesting enough, usually isn't)
11. wish I could speak Mandarin
12. want to get a motorcycle licence
13. wants a ear piercing, will do eventually :]
14. ask me anything about me and ill probably tell you, just don't tell anyone
15. can't speak from the heart, unless I rethink it before hand
16. kinda scared to dance but not really
17. sleeps with a baby pillow haha
18. will pick up the phone anytime, 24 hours, even when im sleeping i sound wide awake and i don't mind the calls
19. like people that are active spiritually, like does bible study, lead club/fellowship, leader
20. greatest fear is my future and whether or not i will be able to support my parents financially
21. likes contemporary art and architecture, the very modern/futuristic styles
22. want to build my own house
23. a pretty deep guy
24. LOVES the feeling of helping someone and seeing their smile, knowing you made them happy
25. enjoys hugs

B.A.S.I.C:
marc gave a talk today. good job man. really like the part how he emphasized reading your bible in detail rather than jus scan it. "When you are scanning it, you are basing you devo on your personal knowledge. But by really reading it in depth, you acknowledge that you need God's word instead.". Something of that nature.

"If you don't get what you like, why not like what you get."