Friday, July 31, 2009


August 2-7.

its nice to retreat away frm the city and just relax. :]


blogs are in a sense, ppl's personal diaries so bloggers tend to sometimes write about their thoughts and feelings. its a place where ppl can vent out to someone w/o actually talking to someone. gets things off our chests. a lot of times, ppl that read blogs think what they read is all the blogger is about. but blogs are public so evn tho some things seem personal, their inner MOST personal thoughts might not be written out. so when we read blogs and we read about thoughts and situations. we shouldnt act on them immediately. what we read on blogs should be secondary and its just for us to know but not necessarily act on. we cant always "assume" that the blogger is talking about what we are thinking about just because it matches the description in our head. you never know, it might just not be who or what we're thinking about. most of the time, blogs are figurative.
this might kinda personal, but needed to get it off my chest......

he feels like a jerk. he didnt mean to but feels like he led her on and left her in the dust. sometimes he does things but doesnt realize they have effect on ppl. he feels like he made a player move. and it might look like hes a player but on the inside he truly isnt and doesnt want to be seen as one. hes sorry for all hes done and everything that happened. sorry, honestly. just aint ready yet.

i just pray.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


morning was good. went to cornerstone. worship was a little different frm ours. but it was all good. REALLY liked their sunday school. i think im going to check out cornerstone more often.

was kinda irritated after service. i think it was partly b/c of the super long sermon. was sleepy to begin with and then became restless. but also a little bit due to the fact of being asked to play for worship. i dont like it when im "forced" to play. it comes across as if i HAVE TO play b/c they are short ppl or tired of doing it. i know they dont mean it like that and i really dont blame them or hold grudges. but idk. im really not that good. i might do fine if i practice but personally idk if i can commit time to practice. at least not at the moment. i dont feel as if im called to play. i orginally took on guitar as a stress reliever. but yea.

havent really been "on track" lately. feel kinda spiritually dead or at a halt. maybe cus im not feeling that high i want. maybe BAAYF and Young Adult Retreat will hehlp. but those "retreat highs" dont last forever and i know that. i guess i feel that things at nsm are too......routine. i want more out of it. like jeffrey said, not spiritually challenging i guess.

"We should forgive because we were forgiven."-cornerstone sermon

Thursday, July 16, 2009

YAY! today i made my first shot of the season. a three pointer! super happy. praise Him for that. we lost by three tho. went into OT. o well. win or lose, we praise.

i do miss it........

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

dear heavenly father,

i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know where to take this. i just pray that you guide me, lord. i pray that you just show me your plan for me and help direct me in the direction i need to go. this is big struggle for me and i need your help, lord. also i pray that you watch over her and keep her safe. i pray that you help her with anything she might be going through, keep her faithful lord. allow her to speak to you or to someone that can help her lord. relieve her burdens. i just thank you for this day, lord. greatful for great day at work, at the game and the fellowship tonight. thank you lord.

i pray this in your sons name. amen

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

King Tut

got some staff tickets and saw king tut with my mom. it was nice, date with my mother. hehe

yea overall it was sick i guess. cool special effects at the beginning. gave u a feeling of being in an actual tomb. but yea some of the pieces were repetitive. and wished there was some dead bodies there haha in the coffins. if only i knew more info, then the exhibit would of be HECKA interesting.

sadly i wasnt allow take pics. wanted to show u cus you couldnt come. i was thinking of taking them any ways and pretend like i didnt know but yea didnt wanna get in trouble. o well.

got this off google. i liked this piece the most. its a board game, different game on each side and had a little draw to put the pieces away. sick.

me and my moms. my hat is messed up but i wanted a pic with my moms. :]

Monday, July 6, 2009

so i went back to look again today, sadly no luck once again..............:[
for some reason i have a feeling its not lost, but i always feel like that when i "lose" something like the bible i lost at retreat. maybe i should just let it go and stop worrying about the past...

you know i just came to realize something. God's been good to me financially and i havent been noticing. whenever im broke or need money, it always seems to come to me some how. praise Him for that. last two days i got $150 from my uncles for graduation. didnt expect it. the only problem is myself. i tend to spend it on things that isnt AS necessary.

not saying its bad. but just wondering, do we king guy thai dawl? i like your wake up calls :)

Sunday, July 5, 2009


good sermon today

the three C's

Choice- making choices in life is a big deal. sometimes we need to find out and live for what God wants for us. it might be hard cus some of us listen to our parents. but sometimes what they want isnt what God wants and we need to trust that God's way is the better way. i kinda struggle with that slightly in terms of my future and what i should do. but im slowly starting to trust.

Cornerstone- a "cornerstone" is that one perfect stone that sets the foundation for a building. what's our cornerstone in life. Jesus Christ is that perfect cornerstone that we should build our life on. we have to be willing to do that.

Community-our community and the people in and around it. they play a huge role in our lives. our decisions, how they help us and how we help them.

these are the things that makes us SOLID.

-hard to say but reality is everything can disappear anytime, sometimes even our parents. the one and only solid thing is Jesus.He's ALWAYS here for you. learn to Trust

Saturday, July 4, 2009

i failed........

cant believe i lost it. like seriously. feel soo bad. idk how im gonna let this go. i MUST find it. :[

thanks crystal <3

pretty good and bad day. ppl mad at ppl. but overall i guess, it was good. nice night. jadeylnn's so shy :]

Friday, July 3, 2009

real talk

so ive been having doubts. how can this be? so good, so fast? ive been questioning it and its been messing with me, getting me lost. but this whole time ive been forgetting one important thing. TRUST. God has a plan. and i have to remember to trust in that plan. "Trust in the Lord and do good." -Psalm 37:3 i mean things dont happen for no reason. God knows what hes doing even if we dont. i was placed with this in my life for a reason. i shouldnt have doubts. i should be living it out and trust that what ever happens happens for a good reason and God is in control of the good. He would nvr harm us. idk i guess its hard when we as humans tend to want to know the outcomes and want that certainty. we dont want those "risk and struggles" but life isnt about knowing your future, its about living for it and having that faith and trust. i just need to realize and remember this

glad i had this talk. thanks jim.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


so after our game at el camino, (or like she saids el co :]) , we went bowling. went to classic bowl, nvr bowled there but we freakin waited TWO hours cus we wanted three lanes but ended up only getting only 2........anyways i didnt feel like bowling anymore at that point but they made me. got home at 330 am. SOO tired.

such a dumb decision to go bowling. should have nvr went. would have rather went home like a gwai jai and talk to dup beat. :] sorry for making you wait and ended up being soo late. ill make it up to you, promise.