Taking It Slow

even tho it was a good day, still had some thoughts.

"Take it slow." ppl tell me so. i know so. even tho sometimes its hard, i can say i have it under control. pressures, desires, temptations, things like that. but i guess the real problem isn't taking it slow, it's know what i want. know what she wants. just knowing how to go where i need to go. i dont care how it goes, i just want to know where it goes i guess. idk. i guess i need to have faith and pray. even if it doesnt go where I want it to go, i need to understand it will go somewhere good. :] amen to that.

feel much better after reflecting this :] im a happy person haha

Bad People

this is what i think:

i dont think people are ever "bad". they dont do bad things cus they want to, but its cus they need to. sometimes the bad way to go is the easier way to go and thats why people tend to do it.

but my point is i think it's unfair that ppl are labeled as "bad" jus cus of something wrong they did in the past. everyone has their "bad" moments or history. i believe that people can change. they might have been like this or that BEFORE. but NOW can be different.

so this is why when someone tells me something about someone, i try to not believe it. because often times, even best friends tend to miss things about one another. and they might think they know someone but no one really KNOWS someone unless that someone tells you that themselves. they might see the outside, but the inside cant be seen, it must be heard. so when ppl talk about other ppl, things get misheard and rumors starts and might make that person sound like something he/she isnt. honestly tho sometimes when someone tells me something bad , it does sometimes mess with my head. but at the end of the day, i tell myself i need to witness it for myself and it helps.

i think the best way to know someone is to just them directly. even if its a personal question, it can be asked. but do it politely and if they dont want to tell u, then respect that b/c not everyone needs to know everything. curiosity is a desire, not a necessity. so i personally like it when ppl just ask me things, rather then hear it from others. im pretty open but if i dont tell, then i dont tell. i know its hard sometimes cus u dont know how comfortable or open someone is and thats just reality. but i give permission to anybody to ask me anything about me cus i rather u ask and me not tell u then to have you trying to go figure it out from other ppl that can get me wrong.

Special :]

Idk. its funny haha

before when i liked someone, it was hard to talk to them. like idk, it felt awkward and yea. but now its all natural and easy. i feel happy talking to her. maybe this was what i was waiting for all my life. someone who im comfortable with. letting her be who she is and me be who i am. maybe who i "liked" before wasnt really liking. idk but i like what i have now and i have a feeling this time its different :] praise God for this. pray that it will go my way.

iminlikewithyou <3

Question

When does being outgoing or friendly be considered "flirting"? Is the difference the intentions behind it?

If it is "flirting", is it bad to "flirt"? Only if you don't have means of leading them on?

Being TOO Friendly

after an incident, ive been more careful about being friendly to girls. im not saying now, im mean to them, but just not as friendly. especially girls in relationships. b/c their boyfriends might get the wrong idea unless i know i have their trust in me. b/c sometimes when u become friendly, especially in convo, some might see it as "flirting", getting the wrong idea. the main problem i guess is that im scared i might lead them on. not saying im so good that i do that to everyone. i mean ive hurt girls before and ive seen girls get hurt and it really isnt the best experience. i had no intention to do it but i just wasnt ready to have a relationship. so if my intentions arent to have interest in them, should i not worry leading them on and just be myself and be friendly with them?

b/c honestly, being the "mean" guy isnt too fun and it hurts friend relationships. but its the only way to reduce the risk of leading them on. cus isnt it better to have her hate you, than to have her like you first then hate you? this way only one person gets hurt, you and not both, her and you.


after reading FYMO, i think i've found my answer.
thank God for bringing this to me. amen

Stopped

ok so i feel lately ive been like stopped spiritually. like idk, jsut aint feeling that high no more and the main reason might be b/c im not doing devos or quiet times. but its because of senioritis and cus i have alot to think about. like PROM and AP. like when i get home, senioritis makes me not want to do anything so i go on the computer. next thing u know it, its late and i want to sleep and no time for QT. also i guess maybe b/c im a senior, everything is like coming to an end for me cus im going off to college. so i end ot use this time, replacing God with FUN and hang out with friends. i mean I know God will ALWAYS be there, but friends arent. so is that a good reason save to God for later?

At A Hault

i feel that newstart is at spiritual hault. like honestly i dont feel like im growing from it anymore. i just dont get that high like i use to. worship is slowly feeling like just singing now. like going to church is feeling like a habit rather than a passionate desire. i mean i dont know if we should see this as a problem or if this just happens to every church. but i thought about it with some people. and i came to realize, this whole time i blame the church for my lack of growth. but the real problem is in me. we always expect CHURCH to grow us. but that's not how it is. We don't grow because the church grows, the church grows because we grow. we make up the church and it is up to ourselves to enhance our relationship with God. church is there for the extra support. and when our spirituality grows, it will show, it will rub off on to other in and outside of the church and THAT will help the church grow. we cant and shouldnt rely on these "rub off" of others to give us that "high". but these rub offs are to help us grow and look deeper into the relationship. so yea. i just need to find my place and continue to look towards God, rather than use church to grow me.

"We don't grow because the church grows, the church grows because we grow."